A Wanderer Passing By!

Author's note: I tend to write in a poem format nowadays versus a journal like-blog piece. I do hope those few select who read me, are still able to connect to the piece as they did with earlier pieces.
I am always keen on hearing how the piece made you feel or even any feedback against it. Please feel free to email me or put in the comments your thoughts.

“And you must not worry about me. You must follow your dreams. You have your life ahead of you. I am just a wanderer passing by” – Avijeet Das

You know how the waves keep kissing the shore,

They are rejected every single time, but they come back,

I feel I am like that wave returning to a shore that denied me,

Even after thinking I shouldn’t be ‘hoping’ anymore,

And just like the ocean has its tides, moods so to speak,

It just gives up that hope and takes some steps back,

As if to assess whether the shore even cares of its existence,

I feel like I am doing the same thing with us,

And it hurts me more than it is hurting you, 

And to know that; to realize that, is tremendously painful.

The deeper the affection; the greater the pain,

And within the depth of longing is a bitterest feeling,

I hate it you know; trust me, I really hate it,

It is like a dagger that keeps piercing me, day and night,

So, when we speak, my words are sharper than usual,

And I know this will ultimately cost me a greater loss, you!

I would ask you to be patient with me, but it is unfair,

But as I likely fade from your life, you should know one thing,

Remember when you said our conversation would lighten eventually,

That the power or the frequency would deteriorate over time,

I couldn’t disagree anymore because I don’t believe that at all!

Our conversations weren’t meant to subside if we opted for them not to…

Do you think after all these years, that was a random message meant to go nowhere?

I think we were meant to be connected at this point in time; it was ‘maktub’,

I also think we just went with the flow, and that led to fear, which led to a turn,

A turn that cost me a lot, to be honest, and this is why I had built walls,

So, although it was only for a couple of weeks as it ended up being,

I believe it was a great journey, at least for me, and I re-live it,

Every single moment of every single day, I think of what we could have been.

So, my dearest friend, fellow wanderer, or most likely, a soulmate,

I wish you nothing but the best in pursuit of your dreams,

I understand your choice of them over me; I hope you do achieve all of them, and more,

I also hope we continue to talk and remain ‘connected’,

Although I have not done a good job so far, I promise to try, better!

I had promised I’d be there for you, so I always will be, 

Even though right now it may seem to you I am not, but I am,

I can only hope that if I don't listen, you fight me and especially with me through this phase,

But, just in case, should you wish to give up on me, I won’t blame you,

After all, who was I or, who am I except just a wanderer passing by…

“Tumhari duniya main hum jaise hazaaron hai Faraz, 

Hum hi pagal the jo tumhe paa kar itrane lage” - Ahmed Faraz

Peace!

Champ!