This piece is dedicated to my Nanus (grandfathers).
Last week, my last Nanu (this seems an odd statement but what I do mean is the last one alive) passed away, may he rest in peace.
A dear friend of mine asked me to write something on my Nanus, which I had thought I should anyways; and then tonight, a very, very dear friend of mine shared with me something she had written today and that triggered something in me so I am finally putting the whispers of my soul to paprer…
As far as my memory goes, I remember my times with 3 of them; my Nana (mother’s father) and 2 Nanus (Nana’s brothers). All 3 of them have been significant figures of inspiration for me in my life but the one who had the highest and most significant impact was my Khan Nanu. Perhaps because I spent at least 16 out of the 26 years of my life with him, most of which was my childhood to youth days; and as science shows, that is the time we are shaped to be who we are.
When I was in Mozambique, I saw my Nana once a day when we would go to my uncle’s place before going to Jamat Khana. My Nana was paralyzed and would always be on the bed with his beads reciting a prayer. He would see me and smile as if I was the sole reason of his happiness. Of course this was not the case because he loved everyone in the family but I will never forget how he would always smile despite the fact that he was unable to move or leave that room. If I spend half a day in my room, I feel so helpless and smiling would be the last thing I would do and here was a man, who was on the bed for years and never complained. I did not hear him ask why God has done this to him. In fact, he kept reciting prayers and taking God’s name. if this doesn’t inspire me to be anything but faithful, I just don’t know what would.
I connected well with him yet I spent a maximum of 10 minutes with him per day.
There was something about him! I think I now realize, all my 3 of them had that unexplainable magic. The phrase I think I would use is ‘they were elevated’
One day in 2001, my Nana passed away in Nampula, Mozambique. At that time, I was only 10 years old and never understood how deep a gap death can leave. Today, I know; my God, I very well know!!
Before I speak about Khan Nanu, I want to talk about Sadru Nanu, who passed away last week. I always asked my Nanus to pray for me and Sadru Nanu always told me ‘how can I tell you, what is in my heart and thoughts? How can I possibly begin to explain what you mean to me?’While saying this, he would shed a few tears. When I returned from the graveyard, I went in to his room, near his bed I was going through his belongings to see if there was tasbih I could keep as a memory when I stumbled upon his little diary. I began to flip the pages just randomly until I reached a page that had my birthdate on it: “Rahim beta – 14 October 1991”. I cannot express the pain and the sorrow in that moment. It sank to the core of my heart. Indeed, I was not able to understand how much he loved me, and again, I mean the family. I am not afraid to mention here that he had 1 photo in his drawer, and it wasn’t of me but it is a pity that those in the photo never understood just how much this man loved them.
Death; funerals always leave a gap but Sadru Nanu’s funeral was probably one of the most painful for me – for sometime now, I knew it was coming but when it finally did happen, I thought to myself ‘perhaps a bit of more time with him would be nice’.
Time is never our ally so we must be very careful with how we deal with it. Most of us are busy giving time to those who value so little of us; we are simply a choice in their lives yet they are our priorities; I think I am very glad that regardless of how this approach of mine is thought of, I no longer give my time to everyone, especially not to those, who just don’t value me as a person.
Time is never our ally so we must be very careful with how we deal with it. Most of us are busy giving time to those who value so little of us; we are simply a choice in their lives yet they are our priorities; I think I am very glad that regardless of how this approach of mine is thought of, I no longer give my time to everyone, especially not to those, who just don’t value me as a person.
My journey with my Khan Nanu or ‘budhao’ as I called him, is in itself worth a book. From the true meaning of service to making chai for Jamat Khana, from meditation to reciting a prayer, from having patience to showing emotions, from him carrying me to me holding his hand as he walks; I have spent a third of my life with my Khan Nanu. He would scold me for not attending prayers or breaking a glass in Jamat Khana playing cricket, and trust me, I have broken a lot of them; he would tell me that one does not need to have a uniform or position or title to serve; he would tell me his life stories; he would be patient with me on instances where I would be irritated with him; and he would always give me money before I set on a travel and say ‘buy chocolates, enjoy’. As I said, there is so much I can talk about my Khan Nanu and someday I will sit down to jolt a piece just for my time with him but I want to fast forward to 2017. He was diagnosed with lip cancer; had a 9 hour surgery, survived it, was recovering and 2 days later had a cardiac arrest that put him in the ICU on 21stMarch; Navroz which is the Persian New Year; celebrated world wide. What is ironic is my father passed away on Father’s day in 2016 and just as the world was posting messages on social media sites, I was flying to Kampala for his funeral. On Navroz 2017, I spent a lot of my day right from 0430 till 2130 in and around the ICU. I think I am truly grateful to He who is above all else for the strength and courage He gave me!
Khan Nanu passed away on Chandraat, day of the new moon in September 2017. You know how a building is only as strong as its foundation; I can tell you, I have lost 2 of the foundations! After dad passed away, happiness and sorrow became almost the same thing; as if color had faded from my life, and till today, it is just not there!!
I know I have not done justice to this piece but I have written in the flow as always. I want to end this with a quote I loved from a piece my friend shared with me earlier this evening:
“Remember the days you prayed for the things you have now” – author unknown
Life is a very short passage in eternity. Say the I love you, sorrys the moment you get the chance because tomorrow is never, ever guaranteed.
