“You have learnt so much
And read a thousand books.
Have you ever read your Self?
You have gone to mosque and temple.
Have you ever visited your soul?
You are busy fighting Satan.
Have you ever fought your
Ill intentions?
You have reached into the skies,
But you have failed to reach
What's in your heart!” – Bulleh Shah
And read a thousand books.
Have you ever read your Self?
You have gone to mosque and temple.
Have you ever visited your soul?
You are busy fighting Satan.
Have you ever fought your
Ill intentions?
You have reached into the skies,
But you have failed to reach
What's in your heart!” – Bulleh Shah
Recently, I attended a talk at AKU by a singer I have come to admire, Arieb Azhar. He has inspired me to read poets like Bulleh Shah, who have written exceptionally, but haven’t been translated in to the different languages as much. I have made it a point to myself to read such poets moving forward.
He shared one of Bulleh Shah’s poems; my God the words and tune have touched me.
I found a video on YouTube where he had sang this previously: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU5P_hHTSFA
He shared one of Bulleh Shah’s poems; my God the words and tune have touched me.
I found a video on YouTube where he had sang this previously: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU5P_hHTSFA
Everyday I drive back from AKU around 2200 (sorry, I am too used to the 24-hour clock – line of work you see!); so I was saying, everyday I drive back from work at night, I take this super expressway and listen to either a ghazal or a song with the lyrics to touch a few chords of my soul. I have kind of stopped listening to music that doesn’t make sense to the soul, which is pretty much a lot of the music being produced nowadays.
So, the one emotion, which is rather constant everyday throughout this drive, is of ‘nothingness’! I ask myself what does my life mean to me today? What makes me wake up everyday and continue on this planet? There is only one answer to that to be honest; my mother. After dad, she is the sole purpose of my living because aside from that, life has pretty much lost its color. The festivals that once meant a lot, brought to me tremendous joy and served as a means to celebrate no longer have that energy for me. Surely, the faith aspect to these has remained but the social aspect is totally gone. Many a times, I just feel so deeply empty, it’s not even painful anymore; it’s just numb.
So, the one emotion, which is rather constant everyday throughout this drive, is of ‘nothingness’! I ask myself what does my life mean to me today? What makes me wake up everyday and continue on this planet? There is only one answer to that to be honest; my mother. After dad, she is the sole purpose of my living because aside from that, life has pretty much lost its color. The festivals that once meant a lot, brought to me tremendous joy and served as a means to celebrate no longer have that energy for me. Surely, the faith aspect to these has remained but the social aspect is totally gone. Many a times, I just feel so deeply empty, it’s not even painful anymore; it’s just numb.
Ghalib once said ‘kehte hai jeete hai umeed pe log, hum ko jeene ki bhi umeed nahin’ [they say people live their lives with hope, I don’t even have hope of living]. I do not intend to sound ungrateful or in such misery, because I am certain of being in a much better place than many others, but the point I wanted to put forward is there are those who despite having a lot of materialistic items, lose the color of their life. Till yesterday what meant a lot no longer seems to bring that joy anymore. They walk the path because they have to, not because they want to. The sunset of their life has occurred already even though it is mid-day in terms of their age; I hope none of you ever get to that point.
A friend of mine remarked ‘I wish to lead a life like yours Rahim, of a wanderer’ and my reply was ‘I hope not, because it is a very lonely path with no one in sight for miles’.
A friend of mine remarked ‘I wish to lead a life like yours Rahim, of a wanderer’ and my reply was ‘I hope not, because it is a very lonely path with no one in sight for miles’.
I started this article a couple of weeks back and I am finally putting it to rest today. I was driving back home listening to Mehdi Hasan’s ghazal ‘iss bhare jahan main, koi apna tha hi nahin’ [in this world full of beings, there was no one who was mine] and I began composing this. I thought of the purpose of my life and why I wake up everyday; I thought of my day and the struggles I go through to keep afloat and asked if it was worth it? Well, I guess I am at a point where I need change, and I need to move on from this current room I am in – and I am definitely trying to do that, but I will wait until He grants it to me.
I guess we all need change in our lives but are afraid to admit it or take the necessary steps. Years down the line, we look back and think we should have done it. I am of the thought that it is wiser to admit it and move on – being professionally or personally. Yes, you suffer when you make a change because the platter as I refer it to is empty so you have to start a fresh. I moved to Pakistan in 2016, the 4thchange I had made to my life in 3 years time back then, and I never knew if this move would last but well 3 years down the line I now have a full platter here, with professional accomplishments, friends, acquaintances, compliments, criticisms, folks who do not like me, folks I absolutely don’t respect or like, folks I admire and want to be like; everything but a girl friend:p; perhaps the most complete platter I have had in all these many years and so it is time to find a new platter, because life is not like a pond which has still water. Life is like a river, which flows forward and we must do the same.
I guess we all need change in our lives but are afraid to admit it or take the necessary steps. Years down the line, we look back and think we should have done it. I am of the thought that it is wiser to admit it and move on – being professionally or personally. Yes, you suffer when you make a change because the platter as I refer it to is empty so you have to start a fresh. I moved to Pakistan in 2016, the 4thchange I had made to my life in 3 years time back then, and I never knew if this move would last but well 3 years down the line I now have a full platter here, with professional accomplishments, friends, acquaintances, compliments, criticisms, folks who do not like me, folks I absolutely don’t respect or like, folks I admire and want to be like; everything but a girl friend:p; perhaps the most complete platter I have had in all these many years and so it is time to find a new platter, because life is not like a pond which has still water. Life is like a river, which flows forward and we must do the same.
I don’t know if I have made sense but I hope I have touched a few chords in a few hearts. If you have something you would like me to write on, have comments or suggestions, please do not hesitate to reach out and share your thoughts.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.” ― Paulo Coelho
Peace,
Champ!
