Author's note: Although I thought I won't write any 'love' related pieces, however, lately, I have really been meaning to pen down this piece, which was meant to be a general "miss you" piece from one to another distant lover or ex but I ended up keeping someone in mind as I wrote it. Although this person and I were never 'together', she impacted my life in a great way. My advice, don't be like me and if you have someone in mind as you read this, reach out to them, have a conversation and even possibly, express that you miss them...
I miss you, sometimes; only sometimes!
Lately, I have been thinking about you, about ‘us’,
Once upon a time, there used to be an us,
And then with a blink of an eye, it all just disappeared,
If you remember, I always said we were ‘maktub’,
As much as coming close was written, so was parting,
But I honestly thought and felt we were stronger than this.
I mean our connection as two wandering souls,
As individuals, yes, we are very strong,
Focused, determined and honestly, extremely stubborn,
After all, we do have a lot of similarities,
I don’t know about you, but many a time I feel like saying hi,
I feel like telling you that I went through your page,
And I see you have travelled a little more than before,
I feel glad about that; I am happy for you,
I want to ask you about it, what you did, how you felt,
But I don’t pass the first hurdle itself, which is saying hi,
A lot of that is to do with she hasn’t said a word in months; she let go and so don’t bother; don’t chase shadows,
Yes, that is my stubbornness and my ego,
But a little part also reminds me how we connected…
Every once in awhile, I see your seen on my stories or like on a post,
And somehow, I think to myself ‘perhaps she will write to me’,
I ask myself ‘doesn’t she have questions about my drone; about my experience with it’,
And days pass by with absolute silence in the air,
And I come to terms, again, with the reality of our lives,
I am afraid gone are the days for us,
I deleted our WhatsApp convo,
Remember, the one with all the starred messages,
So now I can’t go back and listen to your voice notes,
I avoid listening to ‘aj jaane ki zidd na karo’
I also reminded myself that you chose for us, not to be us,
So, if you do end up reading this piece, don’t think much,
I mean I know you won’t, it doesn’t matter to you,
I just wanted to say that I honestly thought we were better,
And yes, sometimes; only sometimes, I do miss you,
And when I do, I listen to our other song,
mujse pehli si mohobat mere Mehboob na mang…
Peace!
Champ!
