Budhao :)

In recent conversations with someone, I have been reminded of one of the most influential, important and significant figures of my life, my Budhao, my Khan Nanu. It is not that I had forgotten him, but it feels like someone reading my journals has flipped back to the page where I wrote about him. I went back to my blog and read the piece I wrote about my Nanus (http://whitelyz.blogspot.com/2018/05/my-nanus.html). I realize I had mentioned that I will write about my Budhao but never had the chance to do it, so this evening, at 2021 (every pun intended as 2020 is far too screwed up!!), seated in front of a quiet Bangrak beach in Koh Samui, Thailand with mosquitoes irritating me, I am going to put down this piece for my Nanu…

My Nanu started serving the Jamat and the mosque in Aliyabad, Karachi and then later moved to Kampala. I am not sure of the precise number of years he served in Karachi but I think it was over 20 years and in Kampala, it was 23 years, so of his 78 years, he served for nearly 43, at least. I could see the light of the blessings in his eyes and in the entirety of his life. He began meditation at the age of 8 and did not stop until he passed away. Of all my Nanus, who I feel were all ‘elevated’, I have spent most of my time with Budhao and he was the closest Nanu to me. From scolding me to guiding me with life lessons, from buying my first phone (Nokia 2600) to paying for the glasses I broke while batting in cricket, I owe a lot of myself to him. I also know for a fact that I am reaping the fruits of his deeds otherwise I don’t for one second believe that I have done anything worthy of much of what has been bestowed upon me so far. I am profoundly blessed, beyond my thoughts to be a part of his legacy; no amount of words will express how truly and deeply I believe this! I want to share some specific incidents in this piece about him as well as lessons which I will never forget and things I am known for or can do but owe all of it, to him…

My father used to make chai (tea) in Karachi at Karimabar Jamat Khana (JK). I always knew this but did not have the slightest clue that I could continue that legacy in Kampala. 1 evening after prayers, as usual, I was with my friends hanging out when he called me upstairs to the prayer hall saying he needed help. There was a health session in the Diamond Jubilee Hall (DJ Hall as it was called, and anyone from Kampala will tell you, it was, rather is our most treasured place!) and they wanted chai. The expected number was 35. I had never made chai for 2 people, leave alone 35, that too in JK so I shared my hesitation with him. He smiled and said, “don’t worry, I will share pointers and if you follow them, you will reach your destiny”. He gave me the keys to the store and precise measurements; x litres milk, water and amount of tea leaves. Nervous but courageously, I did as he said. As Paulo says in The Alchemist, beginner’s luck, I got it! The tea was loved by everyone and I thought to myself ‘wow, I can do this!’. I then began making chai for events at JK and did it for almost 9 years. During the 2011 celebrations, I made 100 litres tea, twice in 1 night during one of the garba ceremonies – a day engraved in my heart as one of the finest days of my Uganda journey.

There is something about enlightenment, it can’t be hidden. Regardless of the faith you practice, the elevation is something open to all. It is a search and that has no limits or boundaries and those who courageously as well as persistently practice and are blessed by He who is above all else, find the true meaning of life. I cannot touch much (wow, rhymes!) on this topic but Budhao was certainly one of them! He is undoubtedly the most elevated soul I have known all my life!

I miss him a lot today and I feel the time I spent with him on this planet was really little although it was 20+ years. There were many times I had questions about my faith, my practices, my actions, people’s actions, decisions to be made when I was at a crossroad and he had all the answers.
No one knows this but there was a time period in my life, some months after Dad passed away that he would come and meet me. I was unable to sleep, unable to rest, unable to meditate… Every time, I would deeply close my eyes, I would see him, right there, gazing at me and smiling. To be honest, as much as it brought peace and happiness, it also scared me. My Nanu helped me through that phase with his guidance.
I re-call him telling me to maintain and hold fast on my faith when I was politically undone in Kampala for an opportunity that means the world to me or how he told me to calm down when serving because otherwise, I am losing the essence of it. I remember how I hated when he called me to help him because I was too stupid to value television or cricket over service – today, I can give everything I have to go back in time and assist him. I re-call how I discovered the places he hid the extra chocolates he got, which eventually would be mine anyways, but he wanted me to learn how to be patient and not let my ambitious self-get the better of me. I am ashamed to admit that I was foolish not to learn everything I possibly could from him but immensely grateful that I got to absorb as much as I did and I am guided by these learnings.

My Nanu, my Budhao supported me; was and still is, my pillar in life. I still carry his lessons with me, his Ghatpath Dhaga, which he gave me before going to the OT, is in my journal as a lifelong memory of his presence.
On 18^th March 2017, my Nanu went through almost an 8-9-hour surgery for his lip cancer treatment. On 21^st March 2017, Navroz (Persian New Year), he suffered a cardiac arrest at 4am but survived after being revived 5 times. The doctor, in fact, had told me that day to be prepared to let him go. Was I prepared? I don’t think so… He passed away 9 months later on Chandraat, day of the new moon. Was I prepared then? Mentally, perhaps but emotionally, I am still not prepared!! From the day of his surgery to the day he finally left this world, it was painful but also very inspirational to see how his Faith wasn’t shaken. I would like to hope and pray that I can have 10% of the courage, service, strength, belief and faith that he had. If I can manage that, I will consider my life a huge success.

I could write a book on my Nanu but I just want to conclude with the following lines of his favorite song:

Woh na milega ab tujhe, jiski tujhe talaash hai,

Raahon main aj be-kafan, teri wafa ki laash hai,

Yeh toh zara bata mujhe, tune kiya tha pyaar kyun,

Ae dil kisi ki yaad main hota hai bekarar kyun,

Jisne bhula diya tujhe, uska hai intezar kyun…

Happy B’day Nanu! RIP!

Peace!

Champ!