I wanted to share about my new life so I started this piece months back when I arrived here. I have taken all this time to kind of complete it. I am not convinced that this is the piece I intended to write or that it is complete but none-the-less, I did not want to hold on to it anymore. I need to write about how I am managing my passion for travel and photography in that I am 'island hopping' over the weekends.
Honeymoon days!
“There is light at the end of the tunnel” or “hard work pays off”; both clichés, right? Well, they may well be for some but for me, I couldn’t agree anymore. I am at a beach seated on a comfortable cushion, watching the waves right in front of me, feeling the breeze, listening to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan as I sip my ginger ale and type this piece – island life!
A short while back, I was on the phone with mom and I was explaining to her how life has changed, how much I love it here and how I don’t have enough words to express my gratitude to He who is above all else.
A few months back, I was in Karachi, a noisy and disorganized city as I have always seen it in terms of living there. I was struggling with finances (big time) yet did not let anyone realize it except the very few closest to my existence; I had a tough office to deal with; my teeth were hurting and worsening due to my chocolate and soda intake and on top of that what upset me more is the hypocrite driving – after all, the city’s incompetence means they issue every other tom dick and harry a driving license! In fact, most of them don’t even have one but who does their job to stop all this!! Anyways, one fine day, a call changed everything and here I am, some 4 months later, in a bar on an island with my Mac at 2343, or 1143pm for those who use the normal clock style :p, as if I have accomplished everything I ever wanted or there was to, which is the furthest thing there can be from the truth.
A short while back, I was on the phone with mom and I was explaining to her how life has changed, how much I love it here and how I don’t have enough words to express my gratitude to He who is above all else.
A few months back, I was in Karachi, a noisy and disorganized city as I have always seen it in terms of living there. I was struggling with finances (big time) yet did not let anyone realize it except the very few closest to my existence; I had a tough office to deal with; my teeth were hurting and worsening due to my chocolate and soda intake and on top of that what upset me more is the hypocrite driving – after all, the city’s incompetence means they issue every other tom dick and harry a driving license! In fact, most of them don’t even have one but who does their job to stop all this!! Anyways, one fine day, a call changed everything and here I am, some 4 months later, in a bar on an island with my Mac at 2343, or 1143pm for those who use the normal clock style :p, as if I have accomplished everything I ever wanted or there was to, which is the furthest thing there can be from the truth.
PS: I am seated on the same spot I did some months back when I connected with someone only to end up locking lips shortly after – what a sweet memory that is for me!!
Btw, today is Dad’s B’day and surprisingly it has not been a tough day for me like it was last year, when I drowned, quite literally!; doesn’t mean I have stopped missing him, but I can tell that the wound is becoming numb, on the surface at least! One other thing I have been very good at hiding from Mom is how much I miss him! I have broken down within ever since he left but for her, I need to be me.
Life seems to have turned in a completely different but the right direction. For quite some time, I kept asking my Lord why He isn’t giving me the path I seek? I kept telling Him how sad, stressed and helpless I felt yet there was no relief for me, aside from my Faith (which ranks above all) and things I did for myself like badminton, long drives or late-night walks at AKU. As I sit here tonight, I can tell you that He surely answers but at the right time for He knows more than we will ever. In my previous piece, I mentioned paying the price – so once you have paid the price, you get the answer!
Life seems to have turned in a completely different but the right direction. For quite some time, I kept asking my Lord why He isn’t giving me the path I seek? I kept telling Him how sad, stressed and helpless I felt yet there was no relief for me, aside from my Faith (which ranks above all) and things I did for myself like badminton, long drives or late-night walks at AKU. As I sit here tonight, I can tell you that He surely answers but at the right time for He knows more than we will ever. In my previous piece, I mentioned paying the price – so once you have paid the price, you get the answer!
Another day, the same bar, continuing this piece…
It is very windy today, like seriously windy and the tide is very high. Coco Tam’s has these seats, which allow one to view the ocean and feel the tide as they eat or drink, or for someone like myself, type J. Tonight, it is so windy that they have closed down that space. This has become what I refer to as ‘my spot’!
I love coming here; the ambience is amazing but, on some nights, I need it. The ocean is my relief, to be honest; it soothes my soul even with the level of solitude it holds. There are times when I just need to be with myself be by writing my feelings down, lying under the sky, feeling the sea breeze or having a cup of masala chai; I just need to be with myself! Even though I have gotten better at it, my solitude does get to me. Is it weird that even a wanderer can miss love in his life? Is it weird that for someone who has gotten used to being alone, sometimes, this seems the last thing he’d like to be? So, well folks, if you have love in your lives, treasure it, and don’t lose the person. There will be times of difficulty, compromise, fighting and even thoughts that walking away is the best thing to do, but trust me, stay put and fight it out, especially if you believe that they are the one for you!
Take it from someone who is used to seeing only 1 pair of footsteps behind him when taking a beach walk, love is the best thing that will touch you!
I love coming here; the ambience is amazing but, on some nights, I need it. The ocean is my relief, to be honest; it soothes my soul even with the level of solitude it holds. There are times when I just need to be with myself be by writing my feelings down, lying under the sky, feeling the sea breeze or having a cup of masala chai; I just need to be with myself! Even though I have gotten better at it, my solitude does get to me. Is it weird that even a wanderer can miss love in his life? Is it weird that for someone who has gotten used to being alone, sometimes, this seems the last thing he’d like to be? So, well folks, if you have love in your lives, treasure it, and don’t lose the person. There will be times of difficulty, compromise, fighting and even thoughts that walking away is the best thing to do, but trust me, stay put and fight it out, especially if you believe that they are the one for you!
Take it from someone who is used to seeing only 1 pair of footsteps behind him when taking a beach walk, love is the best thing that will touch you!
Another day, same bar, concluding this piece…
Price paying days!
One thing lately that has happened is I end up writing in blocks, which I believe is not so bad. There are moments when words flow and after a certain time, one loses that rhythm. Rather than forcing to write for the sake of finishing the piece, it is best to hold back and continue at some later point.
During the days when I began the piece, someone remarked ‘you are on your honeymoon days’. I kind of knew what he was implying but did not think much of it at the time. Today, after almost a month on this island as its resident, I can tell you, he couldn’t have said it better. Don’t get me wrong, I am still loving every bit of my life here, but it isn’t all that easy. I manage a beach front villa with an infinity swimming pool but how many times do I get to take a dive? Perhaps once a week, if at all. I have the ocean right in front of me but again, how many times do I get to swim? Again, not much. I do take the beach walks but even that has now reduced.
A couple of months later…
Once again at the same beach bar with ginger ale, only this time watching a fire show and getting to know this stranger beside me, in bits because she is watching the show and I am writing this piece!
The weeks following the last time I touched this piece have been immensely tough! I guess as I said in an earlier piece, I am paying the price for the next level. When sharing with my best friend, I told him the only way we know we are on the right path is if the price we pay becomes tougher and stronger in magnitude, otherwise how will you grow. If the price for one chapter is the same as the next, where is the elevation?
I have taken quite a number of scars already and they have taught me way more than I was learning earlier. One thing I have come to realize about the Creator is, He pieces together the puzzle one by one and if you are reflective enough to look backwards, you will realize that what is happening today was set in motion sometime back, or even the way you are is helping you with the present struggle. I developed a very thick skin from my previous job and that helped me take the beatings I have in this role so far.
A couple of weeks later from one of my favourite hostels on the island…
Almost three months into this new chapter, I am absolutely loving it. I couldn’t have asked for anything more welcoming or blessed. This country is one you just fall in love with. As a soul which hasn’t learned to settle down, I can assure you I don’t call every other place home, but for this island, this country, I can use that word…home! I could spend the rest of my life here, in my shorts and slippers, many times an unbuttoned shirt or without one at all, on a scooter with my headsets on; island life is love!!
Peace!
Champ!
