Vacuum

‘Vacuum’... This is the kind of feeling I have had from the past 2 days! At times life becomes so quiet inside us that everything on the outside no longer reaches us…we tend to love this quietness at the start because on the outside world it is all noisy but then after some time, this silence becomes loneliness and we feel left out or abandoned. It is as if we enter a different world of ours where it’s just us; we feel both sad and happy; we have regrets and everything to cherish for; it is in such moments that we are stripped of our to-show-the-world face into which we are just as a person, what we are as a person. I am someone who does what his heart wants but in such moments, it is when we truly do what we want to do such as take a long walk or write our blog or inbox a long lost buddy who meant something to us but today doesn’t…it is due to such moments that we awaken ourselves in a world full of hidden, dual faces and dead souls!!!

Writing our journal, listening to music, reading a book about who we are as a person just makes so much more sense right now than Facebook or clubbing or watching a movie…well to me, these tiny little things have always made sense but in such times it makes even more sense.

I was at a coffee place last night writing my journal as I had my coffee and I had this thought: freedom or having someone? The one thing that is bound to happen with relationships is that you’re freedom is sacrificed; whether you like it or not. Everyone so-called ‘deep in love’ is compromising somewhere with their loved one to stay with them; not to lose them…this may mean something they don’t like about their loved one or something they want to do but can’t because of the commitment, and so I was thinking, can we live happily even without having that someone special? That someone who’s a spark in our lives, who lights the fire of love in our hearts to avoid darkness in our lives? I will be honest here, I have seen both sides of this question and when I weigh it, I can only say that, love, ‘true love’ only  comes once in our lives where happiness just comes to us…where we don’t fake smiles or take long lonely walks under the rain to hide tears because there are no tears but once that love leaves us, what remains is a ‘silent heart’ full of emotions and feelings that may never be expressed enough to let go…feelings that get buried deep down inside us…feelings that help us lead a new life if we wish to!!

Those of us in today’s world, who have someone with us, let us ask ourselves, is it really love? Do I love the person I am going out with or am I just compromising because their body is more attractive than their soul? Am I seeing this someone because my friends are seeing someone and I don’t want to be left out? Am I afraid to tell this person ‘I do not love you’ because I may break a heart or I will no longer share a bed with them? I believe honesty is the one ethic if adapted by everyone, we can re-paint white on those areas made by Allah as white where we have spilled black. If you love someone, tell them you have that feel for them but if you fall out of it for any reason, also tell them that. Being honest with someone may hurt them yes, but you will have done a lot of good for your own soul. If you are with someone because you like sleeping with them, then don’t say I love you…just say I love to “f” [pardon the language] you because that is the truth. Many people today just ridiculously use the word love for where love has no essence. That brings me to a question on one of the blog I read…‘do we know what love means?’ so today let us ask ourselves, for everything we say love, do we really love them?

Whoa…what was this article meant to be and what has it turned out to be, but as you all know, I simply keep writing what my heart feels. So I would like to conclude with a question for all those who say they want truth from everyone around them; ‘can you handle the truth?’ I think everyone wants the truth from each other but may not have the ability to take it. If I tell you ‘I no longer love you’, do you have the courage in you to take it? I have seen many who just don’t have what it takes to handle truth, because we all want to hear what we want to hear instead of what is actually the reality. So to everyone who reads this blog (I keep repeating this… ‘I hope at least I have someone who reads’), it is good to say you want the truth but then also have the courage to accept it because truth is my friends, the truth is indeed bitter and we all love chocolate :p!!!

“In life one has to be able to laugh, and even though we are looking at some difficult times ahead, we must look at them with courage, hope and faith” – His Highness the Aga Khan IV