Author's note: I am finally concluding this 4 part series on the theme of unrequited love, choosing to love and heartbreaks. The series was inspired by someone walking in and walking out of my life. Sometimes, I think she was a dream out of nowhere and hence faded away. I have lately written my pieces keeping her in mind and I think this one is perhaps the last one. I don't keep regrets and wish her nothing but the best.
“Sometimes you really have to get to know someone to realize, you are just really strangers”
She is most certainly fading,
From my existence,
And I am not trying to stop that.
It hasn’t been that long, to be honest,
Since that bitter conversation,
Yet I have managed to let her go, from my life,
But more importantly, from my thoughts.
I no longer check who viewed my Instagram stories,
I only did because I used to care if she had viewed them,
My heart used to blush to see her seen,
Of all those impossibilities I fell for,
Her, I regret; and oh, I don’t regret that often…
I ponder ‘why did it hurt so much?’,
How can someone miles away dig in so deep,
Only for me to then be drowning in that very hole.
And how did I let go of my walls so easily?
I guess I believe in omens way too much!
There are things or people my instinct drives me towards,
Or as others would call it, there is a ‘click’ with some,
And I see them as signs from He who is Above all else,
And I don’t block that… I live life in the moment,
I allow things to flow because nothing is without reason,
You know what she called it? ‘falling too easily’,
So naive of her to think that she was just another girl in my life,
Well she wasn’t up until now…
I am never going to drift from the way I lead my life,
Wandering is always going to be my signature,
And I will also not entertain being judged for it,
Just like no one, owes me, I don’t owe anyone either,
Especially not an explanation or justification,
We all walk different paths in our life,
And at some point, including the rebellious one,
None of us opted for it but life showed us a way to it, and,
Since the other paths only left us with hurt and disappointment,
We chose to try this one, and found it to be a tad less dreadful,
Truth be told, everyone craves to find the love of their life,
But always choose to walk away at the first sight of a potential,
We want loyalty and honesty but choose the ‘dangerous’ options,
Some can take the burden of their choice and stand up to it,
Most pin it on the other saying ‘my perceptions of you have changed’, or, ‘you are not what I need right now’…
‘We are all like a plank of wood in a massive ocean’, said the late Irrfan Khan once,
The waves move us in all the different possible directions,
And sometimes, we bump into other planks but not by chance,
‘Everything happens for a reason; it is maktub’ said Paulo Coelho,
The plank’s edges collide; some gently and some corrode,
Regardless of which, a part of the plank is transferred on each other,
A plank is never the same again after colliding with another one,
Very often, two planks will fit perfectly with all their imperfections,
And that is precisely what is known to the world as ‘love’,
It is perhaps the most dangerous of events with the highest reward,
If the two planks continue to float together, no obstacle is big enough,
But if either decides to let go, the other one drowns to a depth,
Sometimes so deep that recovery seems impossible,
But those that do recover, find other imperfect planks for them,
This cycle of collision, choice, letting go and moving ahead is life,
And I for one, have let her go, and I haven’t drowned!
At the start I seemed to though, but her words showed me I shouldn’t bother,
So I took the next wave, flowing in the opposite direction…
'Tu jo na mila toh marjaunga Faraz,
Kitna haseen woh jhoot bolta tha'
Peace!
Champ!
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