I miss you, sometimes only!

 Author's note: Although I thought I won't write any 'love' related pieces, however, lately, I have really been meaning to pen down this piece, which was meant to be a general "miss you" piece from one to another distant lover or ex but I ended up keeping someone in mind as I wrote it. Although this person and I were never 'together', she impacted my life in a great way. My advice, don't be like me and if you have someone in mind as you read this, reach out to them, have a conversation and even possibly, express that you miss them...

I miss you, sometimes; only sometimes!

Lately, I have been thinking about you, about ‘us’,

Once upon a time, there used to be an us,

And then with a blink of an eye, it all just disappeared,

If you remember, I always said we were ‘maktub’,

As much as coming close was written, so was parting,

But I honestly thought and felt we were stronger than this.

I mean our connection as two wandering souls,

As individuals, yes, we are very strong,

Focused, determined and honestly, extremely stubborn,

After all, we do have a lot of similarities,

I don’t know about you, but many a time I feel like saying hi,

I feel like telling you that I went through your page,

And I see you have travelled a little more than before,

I feel glad about that; I am happy for you,

I want to ask you about it, what you did, how you felt,

But I don’t pass the first hurdle itself, which is saying hi,

A lot of that is to do with she hasn’t said a word in months; she let go and so don’t bother; don’t chase shadows,

Yes, that is my stubbornness and my ego,

But a little part also reminds me how we connected…

 

Every once in awhile, I see your seen on my stories or like on a post,

And somehow, I think to myself ‘perhaps she will write to me’,

I ask myself ‘doesn’t she have questions about my drone; about my experience with it’,

And days pass by with absolute silence in the air,

And I come to terms, again, with the reality of our lives,

I am afraid gone are the days for us,

I deleted our WhatsApp convo, 

Remember, the one with all the starred messages,

So now I can’t go back and listen to your voice notes,

I avoid listening to ‘aj jaane ki zidd na karo’

I also reminded myself that you chose for us, not to be us,

So, if you do end up reading this piece, don’t think much,

I mean I know you won’t, it doesn’t matter to you,

I just wanted to say that I honestly thought we were better,

And yes, sometimes; only sometimes, I do miss you,

And when I do, I listen to our other song,

mujse pehli si mohobat mere Mehboob na mang…

 

 

 Peace!

Champ!