Be mine!!

So I wasn't intending of publishing this poem but someone, I must add quite a special someone asked me to do so. She said it was very beautiful and deserved to be read by people. I am humbled by her opinion. 

Upon returning from Dubai, 38,000 feet above sea level, floating over clouds, here are the words my heart whispered:

You know I love it; I love it to bits in fact,

When you just let your guard down; a bit,

When you forget the walls you have built around your heart,

The walls that seem so high to climb for anyone,

When you forget your fear of getting hurt,

And you do and say what your heart wants,

You know I love it…

I love it when I talk to the girl who believes in dreams,

The girl who wants to fall in love; the love in fairy tales,

The girl who has her innocence written all over her face,

But it is sad that I have only met her a couple of times may be,

Because she is trapped and imprisoned within a cage,

A cage within yourself so deep that no one can reach…

You know what I think when I think of that girl within you,

I think of someone who I can share myself with,

Someone capable to rescue me from my depths of solitude,

Like I can rescue her from her depths of unfulfilled desires,

And I don’t mean share my body with her because that is the easier part,

I mean share my soul and body,

Which sounds ‘bookish’ but trust me; its reality…

I am not saying I love you because we haven’t reached there, yet,

But I have a feeling if we wanted to, if you wanted do, we can do this,

You and I together could walk past our daily sorrows of life, because,

As someone said, loving someone gives your strength while being loved by someone gives you courage,

I do not know why I have written this poem or why I am saying this,

Because I know we are very far from all this and I am not your type,

Nor am I capable to be with you, but I just felt like writing,

You should know you’re not the closest girl to me yet the only one I wanted to say this to…

You know I love flying, it gives me peace when I am above the clouds, and far from the world,

And it is easy for me to write what I feel when I am at peace with my heart,

I know you could get a better guy than me and I know you might disagree but this is the truth,

But still just know…I could be the star that lightens up your path,

I know too many expectations I am giving so I will just conclude with a quote I love,

If we get together, I am not saying you won’t have problems, but you won’t face them alone!!!

Champ!

That one moment..

I traveled this past weekend and as I sat alone on my last day having tea at the Aga Khan Academy watching the sun set, I wrote this poem:

It is that time of the day I love to capture,

But birds seem afraid of what’s to come,

I guess everyone hates darkness,

Then why don’t we fight for light?

Why do we give up the struggle so easily?

Anyways, behind the lens I have the power to hold a moment,

A moment that I can beg for but time will not return it,

But then again I ask myself, do I really have that power?

Does anyone have such a power?

Because a photo is not a moment but a memory of one,

And the greater the photo; the deeper the grief for the moment,

So today I really just want to pour my feelings on paper,

I don’t have anything specific to write about but share myself,

Share the pain of having an empty space besides me as I take my tea,

A space that I want the Almighty to fill up with someone but He doesn’t,

I want to tell you that regardless of how strong I am, pain gets to me too,

And it is such a moment I am feeling right now that I hate a lot,

A moment when it clicks you that you’re alone; how does the moon do it every night?

A moment when you don’t understand what your purpose here is,

A moment when you’re freedom hits you like a dagger in the heart,

Such a moment is really more painful than a broken heart,

Because at least when someone leaves you, you have certainty of them leaving,

But here it is all doubt and blurriness with absolutely no sign of rescue,

Amidst all this, I see a ray of hope; someone’s smile,

Someone I don’t know but would absolutely love to know,

So on this positive note, I can say that this moment will also fade,

Like all the painful moments I have been through; this too shall fade!!

Cheers!

Peace!

Champ!

Music fills the gaps

“Music fills in the gaps that you left behind”

I pondered upon this thought just as I was about to write this article. I was reading some quotes on love and relationships and a few of them were very touching and so I stumbled upon the loneliness that I often manage to hide from the world and mostly from myself. Whenever though I touch that feeling it is very painful. You tend to reflect on life and what your purpose is, what you’re doing here, who is made for you, why you haven’t had someone who just loves you with all their heart yet you have been that someone for someone; and the absence of some of the answers to such questions devastates me. I read a quote on the notice board of my high school ‘don’t be too serious about life; no one gets out alive anyways’. I just wasn’t made for this quote. I take life seriously and I love reflecting upon issues that are otherwise not seen. That’s me yes!!

So, um finally, I have been granted my major wish/prayer; move out of Uganda. I finally have a job that takes me out of here, but am I happy? Of course I am because this is what I wanted but again I ask, am I happy? One of the saddest things for me is to see my mother weep; it’s intolerable. She is very happy for me and the opportunity that I have but a mother’s heart cannot bear that her only son is going away even though it is only a flights distance…yes, I have sort of began measuring distance in terms of flights because I am going to travel the entire world according to my mother and I will like to believe that. So yeah, just a flight away but too far indeed. My dad is one of the strongest characters I have met in my life but the last time I went far, he too shed tears on departure; a moment quite close to my heart. I will definitely miss them and there is no doubt about that but this step is necessary because life is quite practical unlike a lot of people today. I keep repeating this quote but it is so true and close to me: “…and there are people we can’t live without but must learn to let go.”

So I have written all this but what I really had thought was how music fills in the gaps in my life. Just as a song brings back memories, some take my mind away from darkness into light or in simple terms, distract me away from my memories.

I end with a quote that left me pondering, wondering and in thoughts:

"The person who cares least in the relationship has the most control."

Cheers!

Peace!

Champ!