After quite some time, I managed to scribble down some thoughts. There are moments when I want to write but end up not writing, this time I did!
I refuse to allow myself to miss you,
Not because I don’t want to,
But because I don’t need to,
Because what should I miss about you; about us?
even though there never was ‘us’; now that I look back…
Should I miss the moment you walked away?
Or how you chose him over me?
Or the days I spent in tears and despair?
Or happiness that was robbed from me without warning?
Tell me, what is there for me to miss about you?!
I miss the feeling of being loved though,
Especially on my travels when I watch couples,
When I watch two hearts kissing or watching a sunset,
That is a sharper dagger than anyone will ever realise,
In many ways, I travel to escape my loneliness,
Yet it is on the road when I am reminded of it the most,
That at the core, my heart is in a very dark, lonely place,
One it is both used and addicted to, now…
It is not like I haven’t given love a chance,
I have done it time and time again,
More times than I thought I would,
the first time my heart was cracked to the core,
But each time, I was left with a piece of me ripped,
and each time, someone just decided to walk away,
one even said if we are ‘maktub’, we will meet again,
well, she sealed the cracks of my soul, which vowed,
it was time to just be, alone, a wanderer at best,
and so here I am on one of the most beautiful islands,
watching down a mesmerizing sunset, all by myself…
Peace!
Champ!
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