I don’t think calling this piece part II of my badminton journey is fair, because there is a lot between the years (mentioned in part I and now) that has happened on court but this is the most recent event I took part in, one that affected me both positively and otherwise so I want to pour down my thoughts.
As many who know my badminton journey will know that I have never taken the sport seriously and that is now coming to bite me, somewhat a regret in my life. I have always said my love for the sport is greatest, but that love can accompany success too, which when you look at it, I have not had as much as I could have. I have won tournaments and made a name for myself, however the loses are more I think and had it been with more dedication towards technically playing the sport, it would be a different story. One thing I have learnt is ‘play the sport the way it must be played!’
About 4 months ago, I tried playing a match of singles with someone and after 8 points, I sat down holding my tummy, out of breath, no footwork, just dancing on court like a fool – it was in that moment I realized, I need to take it seriously otherwise in Dubai, in July, I will be nothing but a huge embarrassment. And, when you are about to take part amongst the best from around the world, practically the Olympics, it is a no-brainer that you must train and work hard towards it, even if you are the best player in the world. It is a no-brainer!!
So, 2.5 months before the event, I finally put myself through the coaching I needed. I had calculated up to 30 classes i.e. 30 hours but I ended up doing 20 classes given my travels in between, my work and other commitments. Ko Samui during the day is boiling in the months of May, June, July yet every day, I used to go train for 1 hour – sometimes at 1500, at times 1300 – whenever my coach gave me the availability, and then in the evening, I’d come back to court and play for up to 3 hours. The owner of the court (a friend) was so surprised to see me do this daily because he had seen me play just for fun but now, I had dedication in my eyes, in my approach and it did not matter that the arena was boiling – no AC! I gave my dedicated 3-4 hours daily, no matter what!
My coach often asked me “are you okay?”, knowing that I am asthmatic and I said “yes, just pushing myself a bit more each day”. I tell you; my coach firsthand saw the drive and will in my eyes to do something special in Dubai – did I though? The answer, frankly, is no, and that has left a bitter disappointment, one that I am not sure will go away anytime soon! I have videos from Dubai, which when I look at, I am like dam, I should have played that shot here or this smash here… but life never reverses back and between the could haves and should haves, we lose time, opportunity and age! My biggest regret was leaving Dubai without a medal or being in a match for a medal (at the very least!!) – this is a fact that I will continue to remind myself so that it does not happen again, Insha’Allah! Some many years ago, I left the Unity Games as #5 overall, no medal, and that feeling pierced me but with time, it faded – the last 2 days of the event when I was not playing after being knocked out, that feeling came back piercing me in ways I cannot tell you…
I have never been a singles player! My favorite form has always been doubles, especially because it has that extra backup in the form of my partner who can cover a bit while I can focus on smashing up front to earn points, yet in Dubai, I reached in singles ahead than we did in doubles – and the matches we lost in doubles, well, there is no way we should have. I think a lot of badminton has to do with the mind, as I learnt from others I saw, and I think I need to learn to focus my mind on the game regardless of what is going on around me, on and off court. I say this because what hit me hardest was learning something before we even played our first match – I think that fact (not worth mentioning here) just changed the course of how I viewed everything and the enthusiasm I came with. It was a down slope battle afterwards. I am only proud of 1 match through the tournament, even if we lost that too; 23-25, 19-21, but I felt I was in my zone finally. I won’t dwell much on doubles, but it has affected me, and will take time to heal overall, but it is one of the most disappointing events I have ever taken part in – need I say, it would have been better may be if I never played doubles!
As for the singles match I lost in the quarters, I have been analyzing the videos of it and yes, there was a poor decision by the lines person but that you have to account for I guess – I should have approached and won that 2nd game easily – it was mine to lose, and that is exactly what I ended up doing . I look back and there are shots I should have played that I never did and then those I shouldn’t have but did – yeah, the mix of should haves and could haves!
I want to end this piece by mentioning the most positive thing that happened – I closed an incident that occurred many years ago leading to a grudge, a kind of a burden. I won’t dive into any details but here is what I can say; when we are angry, we end up saying things we don’t really mean but everything we say, is a permanent marker and it will come back to us so we should choose our words wisely, especially when furious. The reason I played that doubles match so well was because of this someone, who said something so positive about me after defeating me very easily, something he did when he was 10 years old as well and I was at my “almost prime”. This festival ended up being the platform where I put that grudge to rest and I am so glad about that – it was a burden I never knew I had but felt it at the back, so my advice to you, say sorry, or forgive, either way, just let it go! We ended up cracking jokes, laughing truly and that closing ceremony is forever arched in my memory because of this – this was the highlight of my GE festival!!
If you are new to badminton, my only piece of advice is, learn! Yes, you can love the sport but at the same time, respect it and play it the way it is supposed to be played. Don’t be afraid to express your emotions either, because that is what makes you, YOU but don’t let them get the better of you. Badminton has given me a lot, quite literally, yet has taken a lot out of me too! It has seen me through the worst and the happiest days of my life, and I hope I am able to be on court for as long as I can! Remember, play the sport the way it is supposed to be, and you can do wonders…
Peace!
Champ!
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