It is 2 years to the day my Dad left this world, for a world far better but took away a lot of me from this world; or perhaps all of me. When the world was posting about father’s day, I was on a plane headed for his funeral. A very long time back I had written about airports, which have travellers with so many different emotions, one of them being someone travelling for a funeral. On 18thJune 2016, I learnt the depth of that which I had no clue about when I wrote that piece. It felt like I was a rock and time had stopped for me. As a traveller, I am particular about my seating on a plane and I politely requested the cabin crew on the flight from Dubai to Entebbe to allow me to sit behind and her response was tremendously rude. Of course she did not know what I was going through but it made me feel like life really had given up on me. I sat where I was assigned (the aisle seat, right side of the plane, near the wing) and couldn’t focus on my journal, the book I keep or a movie I tried watching. The middle seat was empty and there was someone on the window seat who during mid flight asked me ‘what is wrong young man?’. I told him I lost my dad and he went ‘explains a lot as to why you look like your elsewhere’. It was only a 5hour something flight may be but it seemed way longer than that. I think I did watch that one movie, though with little to zero emotions. Whenever I land in Uganda, I feel like I am home but this time, it felt nothing. As someone who does travel often Masha’Allah, I have a habit to ensure I speed my way out as quickly as possible. I am very familiar with Entebbe (and even if you are not, its not that complex!), I had my yellow fever and my immigration form ready. I reach the counter and the lady asks why I am here and I say ‘to bury my father’. Her eyes, I will never forget them! It seemed she knew what I was saying and she stamps me an allowance in the country for more days than I have ever been granted. Ironically, the page she chooses to stamp my visa is right next to the page on which my last trip’s visa is, when I travelled to meet Dad and Mom; the last time I saw him. I reach home and meet my mother and grandfather. My mother, who I was most worried about, seems shattered, actually she was shattered! So was I, but I couldn't tell or show her that - I needed to be there for her, like dad was, and like he would want me to be. Till today, I know he expects the same from me.
Over the next couple of days, I met my friends and folks who knew me. I could see genuine concern and love for the family, and me, which was a very inspiring and touching feeling. It showed me that my family, and perhaps myself had earned love and respect from the members of the community.
Over the next couple of days, I met my friends and folks who knew me. I could see genuine concern and love for the family, and me, which was a very inspiring and touching feeling. It showed me that my family, and perhaps myself had earned love and respect from the members of the community.
I buried my father on 21stJune 2016. We woke up around 0800, got ready and had to reach by 0830. I had counted 0830 – 1230 as the funeral time. Today, I can tell you, those were the 4 longest and most painful hours of my life!
I had not shed a single tear until that morning, but when I entered the room where he was kept for the family to have a final moment and saw him, I broke down. I remember, I just couldn’t move any further. I stepped out actually but it was my uncle who held me and supported me, took me around his body to pay my respect. The strength I got from my Uncle’s presence at my father’s funeral, throughout, I will never forget and be forever in his debt for that.
We came out and father was brought too. I kept looking at him, at his chest thinking, perhaps now it will begin beating; how helpless did I feel when that wouldn’t happen – only I know. I recited 2 Ginans, a form of spiritual expression. During the first, I think I cried more than recite but the second one, was more powerful because I had calmed enough to recite for him.
Around 1015, it was time I took the one last round to see him. I just couldn’t stand up. Someone I have known as a kid walked up to me and said ‘come on son, it is time’. I will never forget that moment either! I took the most painful, last round. After that was the graveyard and he was buried. I don’t think I uttered a word during the entire ritual; I just watched him go down. I only placed one flower on his grave, at where his forehead would be; I used to kiss him goodnight on his forehead!
We came out and father was brought too. I kept looking at him, at his chest thinking, perhaps now it will begin beating; how helpless did I feel when that wouldn’t happen – only I know. I recited 2 Ginans, a form of spiritual expression. During the first, I think I cried more than recite but the second one, was more powerful because I had calmed enough to recite for him.
Around 1015, it was time I took the one last round to see him. I just couldn’t stand up. Someone I have known as a kid walked up to me and said ‘come on son, it is time’. I will never forget that moment either! I took the most painful, last round. After that was the graveyard and he was buried. I don’t think I uttered a word during the entire ritual; I just watched him go down. I only placed one flower on his grave, at where his forehead would be; I used to kiss him goodnight on his forehead!
I think I have said this for a number of moments above but I think I will never forget anything; from the time I learnt he was gone to the time I placed that flower – I will never forget anything.
I re-call my last telephone conversation with him, which was some 15 or 20 minutes before he passed away, and I told him ‘I am coming next month so it is merely 30 odd days and we will meet Insha’Allah’; little did I know that I did not even have 30 more minutes with him! It is also a blessing that I had that last call with him. I would usually call him on a Sunday but this time I decided to call him on Saturday night, somehow something inside me wanted to speak to him. I called and Mother told me he has just come from work so can you call a bit later and I said ‘no, I will talk right now’. I just don’t know what drove me to be so persistent that day! It was raining but to get a better network, he always stepped outside the home. He stood by the door and spoke to me and knowing he just returned from work where he would have stood for the whole day, I told him why don’t you rest and I will call you later, but his love for me was such that he said no! Even as he went, he left me with a glimpse of the love he had for me. He stood for about 17minutes 20odd seconds, by the door, while it poured down and spoke to me. 17minutes 20 most treasured seconds of my life which I would pay my life for to get back!
A couple of very special friends very recently have told me that I am an inspiration for travelling the world and living my dream, although personally I feel I am quite far away from the kind of travelling I want to do. I want to thank IP and Bhalu!
My father loved to travel and this passion has come to me from him. He inspired me to travel and live my dream.
I was 5 and changing my future careers everyday! I would watch a movie in which my favorite actor played the role of a cop so I would think, “I will be a cop”. The next movie, I’d see a powerful character of a lawyer and go for that. My favorite one was to be a cricketer; had that one for quite sometime even after I really knew what I wanted to do. One Sunday, Dad and I were outside as we would every Sunday afternoon. A plane flew above us. I asked Dad what were questions a 2 year old would ask now; what is that, how is it flying so high, who is driving it or rather flying it? He told me it’s a pilot, and boom! I told him I will be a pilot. He said, “it is very tough to become a pilot and will require serious dedication and not changing career paths like you do”. I repeated saying “I will become a pilot”. I don’t remember much from my childhood, just glimpses, but I remember that moment clearly, as a crystal. I remember how his eyes recognized how serious I was, and somehow I knew he consented.
From that day, I knew I was chasing a dream which was tough and required serious dedication! Today, I am not a pilot, I did not become one, but I am the first one in the family who has had to change a passport because the pages were over, not because the passport expired. I don’t see my dream as a failure and its not to give myself any consolation. The essence of my dream was to travel and the method I saw at that time and till end of high school was to be a pilot. Life showed me that the method chosen for me, at least now, is not that.
My father loved to travel and this passion has come to me from him. He inspired me to travel and live my dream.
I was 5 and changing my future careers everyday! I would watch a movie in which my favorite actor played the role of a cop so I would think, “I will be a cop”. The next movie, I’d see a powerful character of a lawyer and go for that. My favorite one was to be a cricketer; had that one for quite sometime even after I really knew what I wanted to do. One Sunday, Dad and I were outside as we would every Sunday afternoon. A plane flew above us. I asked Dad what were questions a 2 year old would ask now; what is that, how is it flying so high, who is driving it or rather flying it? He told me it’s a pilot, and boom! I told him I will be a pilot. He said, “it is very tough to become a pilot and will require serious dedication and not changing career paths like you do”. I repeated saying “I will become a pilot”. I don’t remember much from my childhood, just glimpses, but I remember that moment clearly, as a crystal. I remember how his eyes recognized how serious I was, and somehow I knew he consented.
From that day, I knew I was chasing a dream which was tough and required serious dedication! Today, I am not a pilot, I did not become one, but I am the first one in the family who has had to change a passport because the pages were over, not because the passport expired. I don’t see my dream as a failure and its not to give myself any consolation. The essence of my dream was to travel and the method I saw at that time and till end of high school was to be a pilot. Life showed me that the method chosen for me, at least now, is not that.
As I conclude this piece, I want to say that if there is anything I have realized more in these past two years, it is that life is very short! You might have heard this from people in movies or in person, perhaps read in books, but trust me, it is indeed very short. I do not have regrets because my dad knew I loved him, I always told him that, even when we last spoke. Many of us think we have all the time in the world but we really don’t. My life after him is so different from the life I had when he was here. He always told ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’when I spent unnecessarily or his favorite statement, which I am think of engraving on my body, ‘one cannot have the ocean in a day’. I will forever remember his words, which guide me and will do until I too say bye to this world. My father worked all his life for mother and myself, he did not spend anything on himself.
My father was and is my hero, and will remain my hero. My photography, travel, honesty and loyalty; are just some of the things I have got from him...
Happy Father’s Day, Paa! I miss and love you, from the core of my heart!!
RIP!
Peace!
Champ!
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