Is there any feeling more powerful in the world than that of being loved by someone intensely? I am 34,000 feet above the sea level, floating in the clouds listening to a song that has struck a chord so I thought I should put down the feelings to paper!
Many who know me recognize my love for travel and living a wanderer’s life. I am in awh of the idea of being Up-intheair, I have been since the age of 5. A couple of days back at the World Travel Market, someone I was speaking to asked me how many countries I had been to. My answer was ‘it will be 16 after this weekend’. He went on to tell me that he has been to over 50 countries. He further added that for my age, I am doing just fine with this pace. However, if you ask me, I am way behind and I need to speed up, never know when this path comes to an end. He also asked me how many countries did I really want to do? I said ‘197’; he laughed and said ‘that’s the whole world son’. I said ‘that is the vision’. Keep dreaming I tell myself often, for dreams guide the path.
Anyways, I got distracted from what I was feeling when I began this article, and that is, being loved by someone. As a wanderer, there is no concept of home in my life. A downside to this kind of lifestyle is you tend not to find ‘the’ person. Being brutally honest, I have a battered heart and I find it very difficult to find the spark, like I once did with someone. My favorite author, Ahmed Faraz once wrote ‘mohobat kay baad mohobat mumkin hai Faraz, mager toot kar chahna sirf ek baar hota hai’. An attempt at relaying the message ‘you can find love twice but you only die for one person’. Indeed, very lucky are those who find their soul mates, but deeply dead are those who find their soul mates only to not ‘find’ them.
Love is a very selfless feeling; it should be that way. How can I expect someone to fancy me because I fancy her? If anything, I feel more for her because being on the other side is more difficult. You feel guilty that you’re not able to be there for someone who likes you so much, and has to offer so much. Trust me, way too difficult! I have been there a number of times now, and I wonder what I did to deserve someone’s affection. Do I even deserve it in the first place?
Love is a very selfless feeling; it should be that way. How can I expect someone to fancy me because I fancy her? If anything, I feel more for her because being on the other side is more difficult. You feel guilty that you’re not able to be there for someone who likes you so much, and has to offer so much. Trust me, way too difficult! I have been there a number of times now, and I wonder what I did to deserve someone’s affection. Do I even deserve it in the first place?
In all this, the path I have chosen is considered not so ethical by ‘society’ standards but I like it. It is a path of least expectations with tremendous diversity. My introvert self does not allow me to fully go down this path as yet, but with each increasing travel, I am getting there. However, sometimes, moments like this, my soul makes me feel the solitude to its last chord. I feel the need to have someone in my life, who I can say is mine.
I had to leave this article half way so I am continuing it from Kazbegi, Georgia, surrounded by mountains and with a temperature outside of -1. This is the first time I am experiencing this much cold and loving it!
So about the need to have someone – indeed, as a solo traveller, I see couples travelling all the time and quite frankly it does make me envious. At the same time, I love my freedom and independence to do anything, without being judged.
So I end this article here with a hope that my travels will bring to life this wish! I leave this article with a very good piece of advice I echo as well:
"Hooking up with people who do not care about your happiness or you; is a serious and big decision. If you do decide to hook up, you must have a good reason for it, just as you would to have a relationship"
