"Stab the body and it heals, but
injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime"
I feel it is important that I
scribble down something this evening because it has been long due since I last spoke
my heart out and probably all of us know, the weight of feelings is the
greatest barrier in life!
I was reading my last entry
and I re-call how difficult a time of life that was. I was coping with the loss
of my Dad (I still am), feeling scared and doubtful of the quality of work that
I was producing, taking care of mother; indeed, it was a tough period but then
I realize I wrote:
“What is ironic is every time I hit a low, I think to
myself wow this one is a tough one and will I make it? – Next thing I know is
months have passed and I am writing about how I fought the situation and I know
a thing or two about struggling and never giving up.”
See, right now, in this
piece, aren’t I doing exactly what I said I end up doing? He who is above all
else is so Merciful, we will never know and understand.
I started this piece with a
quote from my new ‘email friend’. I told her that I would mention her somewhere
and life just made it happen. I am certain at least one person reads my blogs
and that is her. I just want to thank her for reaching out to me to extend a
hand of “friendship”. It is not easy to do so because majority of the times,
ignorance and rejection is all we are replied back with.
The title of this piece says
it all for me; far too many emotions regarding so many different aspects and I
do not know how to portray them so I will just jolt down the top three; no
wait; four! Top 4 things on my mind right now…
Unity Games; an event that is
so dear to my heart and this year it took place in my favorite city of Mombasa.
It was a dagger to not attend – financially it wasn’t the wisest of decisions.
Sometimes when you have few drops of water left, it is better to spare now and
walk a few steps further ahead in search of the river than to drink now and
expect the Creator to come to the rescue, or worse, die on the horizon. I chose
to spare the water and live another day.
I looked at the photos and said ‘another time Rahim, another time’
I looked at the photos and said ‘another time Rahim, another time’
Work; it has been a rather
tough weekend, not for the amount of work that I had but for the different
emotions at work. I feel I am correct with the path that I chose though it
might have hurt some people’s expectations but why do people expect from me? I
am stubborn like the wind and sail my way, so why hurt yourself by
expecting from me? I am convinced that I will not change this nature and I know
it will cost me love, of someone or of people, but then again, life is a
one-time road and living for people is an art but one should also consider
oneself. The truth is though I have plenty on my plate right now and I am
looking at several things when making decisions; above all is Mother!
June 1st; I am
about 6.2 weeks away from setting off on a 14-day trip; to the United Kingdom
and Turkey. I couldn’t be more grateful and excited for this. I am someone who
hates routine and to be in one place; I want to keep moving around and travel
as much as I can; it is like my oxygen. I have an exam to give on June 5th
in Edinburgh, watch my first live cricket match at Edgbaston, the London eye,
Gallipoli in Turkey and the reciting at the Ismaili Centre; just a few things
on my list.
There is only 1 regret of my UK trip, yes I would say sadly a regret; I won’t get to meet my friend who was one of my primary reasons of choosing the UK. She is heading to Canada for a trip. I am so happy for her and I pray she enjoys to the fullest but for me, it is a missed opportunity – well, I wonder, hasn’t my life become used to those?!
There is only 1 regret of my UK trip, yes I would say sadly a regret; I won’t get to meet my friend who was one of my primary reasons of choosing the UK. She is heading to Canada for a trip. I am so happy for her and I pray she enjoys to the fullest but for me, it is a missed opportunity – well, I wonder, hasn’t my life become used to those?!
Lastly, someone! So I want to
get to know someone and I am unable to find a middle ground and as an
introvert, I don’t know how to reach out. This is something on my mind for sure
as of lately and I am hoping that He will create a path. I know, sounds too
much of hope and less action BUT I know He will if it is meant to be. My habit
of reading people builds curiosity and sometimes I really want to know more
than what my eyes and instinct have captured; that is where it becomes an
issue. Khair, life will find a way!
So, I want to sign off this
piece with three lines from a song I heard this morning:
“Toote dil kay tukde lekar,
Tere dar par hi rehjaunga,
Main phir bhi tumko hi chahunga”
which translates to:
“With broken pieces of my heart,
I will remain outside your doorstep,
And I will still love you”
Peace,
Champ!
