"I fantasize about rejecting the apologies that I know will never come"
Another friend of mine very recently, in fact she was one of my most cherished friends decided to break the friendship all of a sudden without any concrete reason; but oh well I do not think any reason would be sufficient enough as well. Surprisingly, I have taken it pretty well. It struck me badly that morning when I read her Whats-app message and I could not focus but then I shared it with my most truest buddy and then it seemed a bit okay. I guess, sharing our screams out is the best way to silence the pain.
I really have no clue today as to what I want to write but the reason I am writing is to let go off the burdens on my heart. I am honestly tired of seeing people leave after giving them so much. I am the kind of people who believe in loving with all our heart, giving so much value to a relationship, maintaining trust but then it just frustrates me to see people leave just like that. Although this time, the one thing that is positive about it is I think I have finally learnt to live with it and that is why it did not hit me as hard as it could have a couple of years back. I have learnt to accept people who want me to be part of them and appreciate having someone like me who they can trust. I have learnt this the hard way in life by loving someone too deeply or trusting the wrong people so for me, this is one lesson that shall not leave me.
So as I mentioned earlier, I really do not know what I have written but I wish to say this; we all make decisions with consequences for ourselves whether these are financial, family based, relationship based or career ones. The people we decide to abandon may really be those who are sent by Him to show us light and so we must choose wisely. There is pain in loving but a deeper pain in not loving but the choice is always ours. I have seen many people complain of not having love but that is because they imprison themselves yet He has given them everything. Remember, light or darkness is got by our choice and not by Him.
Finally, I want to tell that one friend who decided to bid good bye that no grudges buddy because I keep none though the pain caused is deep and silent...
Peace!
Champ!
