Move on..Just move on..

One of the best things I have come to admire about my life is the fact that people's words and negative attitudes don't bring me down but encourage me to fight harder. I am not saying the words don't hurt, they definitely pinch but for a short time only. To be very honest, I am not someone who holds grudges against anyone because I let go of such people and I tell them on their face what I feel. It fascinates me how Allah has placed lessons in His creation such as no matter what happens, life always moves on, time always moves on; that tells me He is telling us in a way that no matter what happens, you should look to the future and keep moving on!

I have taken some recent criticism and words from here and there from couple of people (and a statement that pinches when I re-call it especially in the manner it was said in) and it hasn't gone down well with me because I think their perception is wrong and even though a blunt, straightforward guy like me is on the receiving end, he can't answer back because of some circumstances, for example if your boss is the one telling you something, you definitely can not respond back because then there are chances of you being fired. Imam Ali said "Never back down from saying the truth because neither can one bring death closer to you nor take away your source of income"..I have always followed this principle and never backed down from saying what I have felt and I shall never stop this, Insha'Allah but at times one should adapt silence instead of making noise. As I said earlier, people's words and disappointments of my life only make me wanna fight harder and be a better person than I was yesterday or today for that matter.

I think when you are good at something, you will get appreciated by people yes (might get appreciated) but there will definitely be those who will criticize you no matter what that is why Sachin Tendulkar, one of the best batsman of all time still has people who don't like him or say Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal, two players who built my interest in tennis have critics around and many more such examples so I think when people do tell me pinching statements, it is because they know he is wow so why is he wow? I am not praising or bragging about anything but just telling you out there who reads me, when you come across such instances in life, be positive and look to the future. I have decided that I am gonna work even harder starting tonight and achieve what I came here to achieve, the best I can achieve.

"Everything happens for a reason"..some of you will think what a cliche statement but believe you me, this is the most truest statement in the world. When I reflect back at my life, I see why things have happened. Why I couldn't join university before as all my friends did out of high school or the sacrifices and compromises I have made..everything makes a lot of sense..so take a moment and reflect, you will see why things have happened the way they did! 

I think I am full of emotions right now and I could go on and on and on but I would like to conclude this article with 2 statements of the same thought...

"When someone attacks you with words, reply back with actions"

"The best don't announce they are the best..they just show it"

Cheers!
Champ!!

Take a moment..

PS..I should have written this article in the afternoon..I just had all the emotions and feelings at that very moment but I chose to go to the beach instead to relax so a piece of advice to all you out there and especially to myself, write when your heart wants and not delay it..the feel does go away!

That being said, here is my article for today..

"I had no shoes and so I complained to Allah but just as I walked down that lane, I saw someone with no feet"

This may not be the original way the quote is but it is the quote that says it all for this article. Always look around you and you shall see that somewhere someone is in a worst state than we are in. 

I was flying from Entebbe (Uganda) to Dubai and we had just landed. I was seated at the back of the plane and was waiting patiently for everyone to get out [you know how everyone just rushes out of the plane as if there were chunks of treasure waiting at the plane door step or this plane had suddenly turned into hell for them] so that I could board off as well. In the mean time, an air hostess at the back asked me where I was headed to and I said Mauritius and she gave me this very surprised look as if asking 'how can you be going on a honeymoon alone?' LOL! I told her I had been selected into Middlesex university and I was headed there for a purpose and a dream you can say..she told me she was flying to Mauritius the next night and I responded 'lucky'..she AGAIN gave me a deep expression..I told her how flying has always been my passion and ambition..she said hope you do achieve this passion goal soon as she walked me to the gate..her final comment is one that left me thoughtful..she said "you think I am lucky and I think you are but I guess this is the nature of human life..we envy others and never look in the mirrors to see ourselves"..[thank you pretty lady..you really taught me a lesson that day]!!

I was going to write about how sad I am for the fact that all my cousins have a re-union in Karachi this December and I may not be able to go, how determined I have become to get a good degree that I study nearly till 3 every night, how being single gives me freedom which I totally love but the lack of someone leaves an absolute vacuum somewhere deep in me and when I listen to songs like 'just a kiss' by Lady Antebellum, it pinches that vacuum and makes me feel like 'wish I did have a love story or life like this' and or the many things that I did wanna write but today in this moment right now, I wanna write about how lucky I am and glad I am to be who I am and have what I have..

I have seen struggles, pain and all this in the past has made me a better fighter. It has increased my determination and will power. The true fact is, we never understand and never will understand why Allah does what He does but I can tell you, everything happens for a reason. We get betrayed to know who our true ones are, we get pain so that we become stronger, we lose love so that we learn to appreciate it when we have it..EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!

So, take a moment today, right now, and close your eyes and see everything you have..your lovely parents, a loved one, your friends, your material assets, your past memories, moments you have laughed like no one watched, and for all the things that life has offered you so far..take a moment right now and think..and if you can not think of any of the above, place your hand on your heart and feel the beat..you know what that is..that shows you are alive and have life left in you..so a better tomorrow can be got if you stand today with hope and faith..

Definitely not what I intended to write but wrote what I felt at this moment..I wrote what I felt so pardon me the literature errors..and anyways my advise to anyone who wants to write is to write from your heart..because as I say: 

"Complex English only opens the dictionary, not the reader's heart" 

Remember, appreciate your life..everything you need to be happy is there with you..just appreciate!!

Cheers!

The Eye Matters!!

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

This world is one but we all see situations differently because there is one thing different in all of us..'the eye'..scientifically speaking the eye is the same of course but our view of a situation, our perception of something is what makes all the difference. 'Beauty is always in the eye'.

I was looking at some old photos a couple of minutes back and I was touched till the core of my heart..photos tend to have that effect on us..always!! because they remind us of a time of life that we wish could return to, people who have changed and we want them to be the same again but have no control over that, memories of times we laughed from our hearts but today can't even afford a smile..So yeah, photos do remind us of some of the best times as well as may be the bad times of our life (I have photos of one of my worst trips ever which was to Nairobi..I may not look at them but they remain a part of me to tell me the lessons I learnt back then)..Photos make us cry, laugh, emotional and some make us wonder why we can't have this time back..I see things with an eye of hope, faith, love for the Creator; I see and try to show others things with positive mind set..nothing in life is big enough to make us fall if we wish to stand and fight..

I'd like to talk about 3 cities that have given me some amazing memories for life!!


MOMBASA!!

 
To be honest, it was a life changing experience. I learn a lot from this place and met some of the most amazing people I will ever meet..people who are nice, sweet, kind and appreciative! I also met people who were not what they looked like on face value and so I learnt that books shouldn't be judged by their covers..Mombasa gave me a lot of confidence, it sort of opened me up and damaged my shy nature, which I am very happy about. A friend once told me that for someone like me, being out going would be better and Mombasa did just that! It also taught me time management and independence because I was on my own for both the trips I went. 
It is important in life to learn how to hope in situations where there is plain darkness, important to see the positive aspects from something that seems nothing such as when you realize someone you considered to be your friend wasn't, that is a very positive thing to receive..my second trip to Mombasa, taught me this!!
It also gave my mother courage. My mom is a lady who has a weak heart towards me especially as I believe all mothers do for their children so when I went Mombasa, it gave her courage to learn to let me go far and today that is why she agreed to send me to Mauritius for over a year!!
I have made some amazing friends, have had praises from a lot people in Mombasa and it is my prayer from the core of my heart that I go back someday again to Mombasa..It is a place stored in me to depths although I have only been there for 5 months.. I guess, quality does beat quantity after all!

KARACHI!!

My home city..Whenever I land in Karachi, my heart feels that is has come home. I know my country, my city aren't perfect and also have been criticized and under negative comments from quite some time now but to me, my city is home. In a poem of mine titled 'Mera shaher-e-Karachi aj bhi utna hi acha hai', meaning my city Karachi is great even today, I mentioned that I love my city because it is my city and I was born there not because of a particular person living there. I guess we all have that love for our home lands!
As of today, a very special person lives in Karachi for whom I wanna go there again and again..that special person is my 6 year old cousin called Kaef! I just miss him so much..I remember how he used to run to me and hug me and give me a kiss and I would forget all my tension and troubles..I have a tear right now because I really 

really miss him and I love him sooooo much!! :') *prayer that I meet him again very very soon*!

KAMPALA!!

You can say this is home away from home..I don't even know where to start or where to finish. From childhood to finishing up to 2nd year of University, from good friends to bad, from love to loneliness, from sports tournaments to outings to special religious occasions to lifetime memorable memories, this city has given me I'd say everything. I may no longer wanna live in this city because of my dream to travel and work abroad but this is a city I always will have my heart connected with. I have some amazing friends back home in Uganda and I miss them a lot. To be honest, yes I miss Kampala a lot and some day in the future I would go back and meet my friends, laugh like I mean it, crack jokes, sit together on the steps of the Jamat Khana {mosque} and share stories, play table tennis and badminton, hell I will do a lot of things but that is in the future and not today..today means making a tomorrow for me and that isn't in Kampala..but it always will be a part of me for it showed me the colors of life, from to dark to bright!!

I have many memories in life that I will re-call throughout and shed a tear and smile about but there are also those I will say 'I wish did this'..I have no regrets but I will like to decrease or eliminate the 'I wish..' moments! 
To conclude this article, I would like to say a quote from one of my favorite shows 'criminal minds'..it goes like:

"I have learnt that there are things we don't wanna happen but have to accept,
things we don't wanna know but have to learn,
and people we can't live without but have to let go.."

Cheers!

A bit of ..umm everything!!

"We have one heart with various emotions and feelings jumbled up together"


So this article is about a number of feelings and emotions that have been in my heart and mind in the recent past few days!!

'University life'..It has been an up and down start. I have known that I can't take my choice of optional subject because my qualification demands me to do the other :/.. and other factors but yeah has been an up and down start..the up of course being my photography which has kinda made me 'known' and also my table tennis game which has brought me 2 bronze medals in the universiade..All praise due to Allah!!

'Determination'..this is the one thing I moved with from Uganda to Mauritius. When I was doing the preparations to come here, all I had in my heart was determination to succeed and make my parents proud. I really remind myself what is at stake here and how hard my parents have worked for me to get here. I remind myself of the purpose I flew with and what it is or who it is I wanna be! I would like to remember that until I get what I am looking for!!

'Own ride'..I have always wanted to have my own car. In Mombasa, it felt amazing to have that bike and ride it with a sense of owning even though it belonged to someone else but that feel was amazing. I pray and crave to have that feel again. It was amazing. I remember I once wrote in my journal about how I envied people with cars and wondered whether they really knew how lucky they were to be having something someone else desires. I guess we all take what we have for granted but someone else..well someone else envies us!!

'The faded friend'..A friend of mine with whom I used to talk a lot seems to have forgotten my existence. On a number of occasions I tried to ask what was wrong and she didn't respond. She probably has a misunderstanding or an issue or is just too busy with her life but be anything, to be honest, she has faded or say I have faded for her..I am a someone who lets go in life when something or someone seems not to be made for me or wants to go away from me and I have done that here..I don't whatsapp her anymore because I know she won't reply to my query and probably will just give a flat reply and then say she has something to do.."so buddy, I'd love you to come back and talk but if you don't, don't blame me tomorrow for having you let go!!"

'hope'.. 

"In life, one has to be able to laugh and even though we are looking at some difficult times ahead, we should look at them with hope and faith - His Highness the Aga Khan"

Nothing in my life keeps me going like hope, faith, belief and prayer does..I am a guy with vision and a thought for the future. I don't like to worry much or take stress because then I do the wrong things that worsen things. Failure is always a result of an action we took and much as it can't be avoided forever, it can be lessened. I like positive people who think about the present in the present and not worry about events that are to happen a year from now. So yeah, to everyone who reads my blog [I hope at least one person does], be faithful to yourself, life and Allah, be hopeful for the best and be ethical. If your heart has Him in it, nothing can stop you from getting where you deserve to be!!

Cheers!

The Winner Stands Alone

Paulo Coelho wrote a book with this title, a title that says it all...indeed the winner always stands alone, whether that means physically, mentally or personally..a winner always stands alone.!

I play two competitive sports; table tennis and badminton, of which badminton has always been my number 1 choice. It is a game taught to me by my most truest buddy on earth and nourished by some amazing players who I have had the privilege of playing with, however recent times have seen things change in my life, even personal life [but I am not touching that issue here]! 
I was once told by someone I have looked up to in table tennis that 'you have more knowledge of table tennis than you will ever have of badminton'...trust me when I say this that it was after that day that I really looked up to my game and started improving it. I now have what I call a 'trademark' backhand :p and some amazing forehand smashes but of course, there is plenty of room for improvement which I always try to close in on! :)

I am taking part in the universiade Mauritius and I had a thought this afternoon as I left the complex after losing my quarter final match, 'the winner stands alone'..If you ever go to a tournament, it is frankly quite obvious to find out who the number 1 is even though he/she isn't playing a match at that time! There are some very common traits you will find in him/her. 
The number 1 will never go around asking how good a particular someone is [because they know they are that good] but will always keep an eye on the games going around to see if there is a competitor really! 
The number 1 will also never be impatient about his/her match. They will be roaming around with the expression 'I am the best and I know I will win' where as the others will be crowding the scorers desk eager to play [and lose too]!

There are many more like this but they all point to one thing..THE WINNER ALWAYS STANDS ALONE!!
In life, there is no room for helplessness and pity. Life is indeed like chess, for every one good move we have thought, destiny has 4 in its thoughts, that is why not everyone can get what they want..Dreaming is free of cost, dreams aren't!

"At times good isn't just good enough" - Suits

Live today..no regrets tomorrow!!

"We realize the value of something when we lose it"

There is nothing but bitter truth in the quote above..We truly are idiots because we always lose things first then realize the value, for example, someone is there for you in times of trouble and happiness and only seeks your love but by the time you realize that, the person has already found someone else and then you blame this person for changing! or as I have in mind as I write this article; parents and religion. I am in Mauritius and I don't have my parents here with me and neither is there an Ismaili mosque here! I had both in Uganda and somewhat took it for granted. I gave time to sports and outings over my parents and time to facebook or tv over my religion. I am not ashamed to accept my flaws and sins, rather in fact, I am repentful for them! I think I should have given more time to both than to whom I did. For not even a second do I mean here that I love my parents or my religion any less..NO WAYS!!! After all, these are two factors that make up my life what it is..I can't live or survive without any of the two. The others will always come and go, care less about us even though we give them ourselves but parents and Allah, especially Allah, its where we start from and have to end!

In terms of friends in my life, someone I know here in Mauritius during our conversation said "I have only 2 friends at university, the rest are people I know..either class mates or work mates but not friends"..I loved this statement of hers..So I'd say about friends, my true ones are quite far from me in terms of distance..some close ones have gone very far in terms of emotions..but yeah, I have a number of people I know around..right now, my hostel mates and people around me are good people. We laugh, have fun and study too..I think all of us are going through a unique experience..an experience that will shape us in a way or the other. It is our ability to learn and ability to make a choice that determine what kind of person we are. People here drink, smoke but I do none of those and it is my choice upon acting on those two and many others that will shape me into the person I will become in the future and present!

Concluding this article, I as a person have no regrets in life. I think I have led a good life and yes I have done wrong too but that is human..as they say "to err is to human, to forgive is to Divine"

All you need is a clean, pure heart; filled with love; and with He who is above all else in it...

Happy B'day Champ!!

I think I will never stop being philosophical :p
Putting up this photo for this titled post just shows that right?
I will explain why I chose this photo in the article ahead..but before that:

HAPPY BIRTH DAY RAHIM!

So..I chose this pic because it reminds me of life and my birthday always reminds me of life..I see birth days as a reminder that our life has moved forward and now we have a year less to fulfill His wishes here on earth!! 
Along every road, there are bus stops; birthdays are those for me whereby we can hold a bit on that day, laugh a bit more, have fun and forget the problems in life [which we should anyways]..So today, I will do that..today its about relaxing..forgetting that life has problems, forgetting the issues in life be it finance or distance from a loved one or anything..just forgetting it, holding back on life and laughing a bit more..today, its that day..that day!!

I have changed over the years in terms of confidence level..of course my ethics haven't changed and Insha'Allah will never but I think as a person I have grown..the chapter of my life right now that started a week or so back has already brought some changes..today on my birthday, I see the many more coming..and I am really looking forward to the year ahead with acceptance and hope but most importantly, with faith! :-)

A final point on this article has to be about wishes..people who wish us on our birthdays and when they wish us of course..It has to be said that a wish at 12 is really different from a wish in the morning..I never looked at this until today when I didn't get a wish from the very few important people in my life..Do I feel bad right now, well yeah I do I guess..perhaps that little but still I do..well wishing someone at 12 may not mean a lot to someone but its definitely something yeah..And don't get me wrong..I am not complaining at all..
Whether someone is there or not there, life doesn't stop at all..it may hurt but its always continuous :)
So about me, I shall always live life no matter what..I mean I started my birthday under a sky with stars, the moon, the perfect sea breeze and mountains around, what else could one desire..the only missing part were my parents..IMY mom and dad! :')
Always appreciate the things and people in life, for they may not be there tomorrow..A change is coming or rather has started coming in my life and I shall not back down from it..I open my arms wide to it in acceptance for it is Allah's will! :)

"Illusion in life is the most dangerous disease one can get"

Different but good or bad?!

I guess I couldn't have found a better image for this article than the one I did find..It is just amazing how true the words in this pic are to my situation in life often..A LOT often!!

Um I have traveled all the way to Mauritius for my final year at university..today was my first day and there was a freshers party..I was kind of very confused as to whether I should go for it or not but ended up going anyways.. I entered and saw this coke people do their stuff to hype up the event such as play music, dance, a good emcee to keep the crowd going, spin the wheel, free coke and all that party kinda stuff Mauritian style..Well, first of all I am new to this environment plus I am reserved or shy generally so it was a 'lost' zone for me..I grabbed a coke, picked a nice corner where everyone was visible and just enjoyed the music. I know to many this may seem weird, awkward and one might say 'oh no you should have tried talking and making new friends' or 'a dance move sounds a good idea'; but you know what, that is just too difficult for me and I am not saying this as a loser, but one should know themselves well you know, and I certainly do know myself very well!! I do make friends and a lot of them but it just takes time, at times a lot of time but it does happen!

A friend of mine on campus, one of the only 2 I have made thus far, told me you are in a league I don't know what to call :p..because most people with me here drink, smoke and are outgoing..I on the other hand believe in long walks, go on the terrace and watch sunsets, read a book with soft music in the background, just go out and get lost in the world to explore it, and all ( I guess you have an idea what I am saying)..I don't wanna say I regret being who I an, because one is what one has at the end of the day, and of course Allah is ever with us. So yeah..I don't regret being who I am though to many they may see me as a person who doesn't enjoy life. If drinking, smoking or having sex is enjoying life, then yes I don't enjoy life..but well, for me life is way beyond this physical 'dream'..religiously speaking, life itself is a dream but most of us these days, live in a dream in this dream even and I am not one of them..

I am unique or different..and it is my belief and virtue or principle that I will have just one person in my life who will love me for who I am than a million of those who will love me once they shape me the they want..this is a costly belief but I won't ever leave it!! :)

Love and happiness!!

Is really mending a broken heart the answer to pain caused by loving someone? Is it possible to just forget how deeply you fell for someone and move on  in life whether alone, or with someone? Well is it possible to even love again? If yes, possible to love that deeply? Ahmed Faraz says:

"Mohobat kay baad mohobat mumkin hai Faraz,
Mager toot kar chahna sirf ek baar hota hai"

Meaning, it is possible to love someone after someone, but loving someone more than yourself, that deep, only once!!

Happiness indeed is knowing that a broken heart can mend but truth lies in the fact that broken hearts can never be the same again..the cracks, the scars even though hidden, shall always exist..I know we must not rely on the past but it will always be a part of us and we should learn from it..And even though we escape and run from it, it shall always remind us of who we are and what we did..Isn't this Allah's biggest way of telling us that what we shall sow is what we shall reap? Isn't this His way of telling us, you are answerable for your deeds and what you do is being seen and/or written somewhere and that a day will come when you will be required to justify your actions? How silly of us not to be afraid of Him who is above all else! How silly of us to just do sins, one after the other and rely on His mercy when He tells us that you will be punished for your wrong doings! How silly of us..

I often tend to divert from what I am writing just because as I write, my heart tends to ponder around various thoughts and feelings and I keep typing whatever comes to thought..So moving away from this religious thought back to my original thought, are we capable of loving someone after someone that intensely? I believe no!! Should we still attempt to love? Yes! Love is the only one language that needs no language, no vocabulary, no minds..its just about love..and love is all about giving someone everything you have..
I read an article that said love is keeping yourself after the other. I beg to differ because for me, love is about giving that person yourself without losing yourself. If someone asks me to change myself on the name of love, change myself because they like me a certain way, do they really love me? Why can't they accept me the way I am? Don't I deserve to be who I am? We should take a moment once in a while, stop our life and reflect if we are who we are, who we want to be or we are who others want us to be..You know what the answer should be!!

What happens when someone lets our expectations down? When we give them everything, they promise us a lot too and when we need them, we can't even find their shadows. I don't have much to say on this except one small thing for anyone who believes people like me who give in everything into a relationship will last forever:

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our sorrows-Charlie Chaplin".. 
At no point in life should you take love for granted because unlike pain, love isn't a gift, its a blessing. Blessings when not taken care of, when not appreciated are taken away easily. Love can be and has been taken away from all those who take people giving it for granted. When someone is showing you love, appreciate it in the form of returning it back, for they shall not return if gone away!! Always remember, love unexpressed is love denied.. So love those who love you today or least appreciate it because tomorrow, you might crave for them, want their shoulder to cry on or for a good night's sleep, but you won't find it, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DO ABOUT IT!!

Love is the answer to life and happiness in it!! :-)

Change

Shikayat To Faqat Badalte Hue LehjoN Se Hai...!!!!!
Hawa,Patte Aur Mausam To Kabhi Dil Torra Nahi karte

The two lines above, quoted from a poem my friend wrote mean that: 
"I complain over changing behavior of people, 
wind, leaves and weather don't break hearts after all"

I wonder why we are able to accept the change in our lives but can't accept even a small change in people we know? I guess because the changes in life are enforced upon us and we can't do anything about most of them but well, neither can we do something about the change in people!! Is it always their fault that they changed? Ever thought we might have played a role in their change, maybe gave them less than they expected or weren't there for them when they needed us!! Should we change a relationship because one of us changed in it? I think the ideal answer is no but the practical one, the one that mostly happens is yes!!

A friend yesterday told me you're talking as if you have a huge heart..To be very honest, buddy, as a matter of fact, I do..Maybe some years down the road I didn't but today, well today I do..
A heart huge enough to accept people in my life with pasts that aren't pleasing in any way..
A heart huge enough to accept people who have done wrong yet I forgive and move on..
A heart huge one to be there for those who don't bother saying hi in what seems to be ages..Only when they are troubled, burdened, hurt, they remember they have a friend, Rahim, who told them he will be there to listen no matter the situation of life..
And today if I am loved and respected by those who have understood me, its because of this ability to love unconditionally..to give my best and everything in a relationship even when people seem to do less I guess..So yes buddy, I have a huge heart!!

I guess I will always be this guy that I am..But coming back to change, yes once a relationship changes in my life with someone, it is very hard to go back that way..I just wonder why is it like that..Probably because of my belief..and that is 

"It is better to build relationships than to repair them because they are like mirrors..marks are always evident"